


your name's not on any signs

by fictorium



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Femslash, Oh, One Shot, Redemption, WHEEEEEEE, despite the fact that Astra is a General, please note I made no Hamilton references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 03:23:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5727832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/pseuds/fictorium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and Astra and a first sweep at how a redemption arc might begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	your name's not on any signs

**Author's Note:**

> I bow, as always to the editing prowess of kara-lesbihonest, and the collective encouragement of the #stealthvag posse.

On returning to the base, her first stop is Astra’s cell. The green glow makes Alex feel sick, but only by the power of suggestion. She’s seen the effect it has on Kara, but right now sympathy for Astra is still hard to come by.

“Where’s my niece?” Astra asks, not moving from where she lies on the floor, eyes closed. “I expected another lecture from her.”

“Do you want to know how many were killed?” Alex asks, her voice level. The cold shock of _afterward_ is dwelling in her bones now, and she’s too tired to pretend she wasn’t scared while facing death tonight. “How many men? Good men, with families. With wives and husbands, sons and daughters. Nephews and nieces.”

“The numbers are unimportant,” Astra answers, her arms crossed over her chest like an Egyptian mummy. “Have you learned anything from their deaths?”

“What does that matter?”

“It gives them value.” Astra sits then, partially at least. She’s staring Alex down, leaning on her elbows. When her head tilts to one side in contemplation, Astra reminds Alex too painfully of Kara. “For example, their deaths might teach you that intelligence obtained from torture is often worthless.”

“Their deaths are on you and your goons,” Alex fires back. “No one else.”

“Poor Director Danvers,” Astra mocks, her voice almost playful. “Can you really still believe death is the worst thing one can inflict on another?”

“They shouldn’t have done it,” Alex concedes, because even outside of Kara’s heartbreak, her conscience is still nagging at her. “I would never have ordered that.”

“I survived.” Astra shrugs as she says it, before lying back down. She somehow doesn’t seem confident that she has. Alex walks around the room to the control panel.

“I’m only turning it down slightly,” she explains, feeling Astra’s eyes on her. It feels a little like when she first went to Sunday school and imagined God’s eyes on her from behind the clouds. “You’ve got no hope of escaping, but you should feel less crappy. The General’s dose should be out of your system soon.”

“You’re too compassionate for your own good.” Astra sits up fully then. “In Fort Rozz, they’d have me in shackles by now, starved and begging for drops of water.”

“There’s still time for that,” Alex warns. “Kara will be by sooner or later. Don’t upset her anymore than you already have.”

“She’s the traitor,” Astra snaps. “I’ll deal with my niece however I like.”

“Well, I tried,” Alex says. “Sweet dreams, General.”

***

The car trip is long enough for Alex to start squirming in the backseat. She prefers to be upfront at all times, but special cuffs or not she isn’t letting Astra out of smackdown range. 

“You’ll regret encouraging insubordination,” Astra offers as the silence stretches out over the engine’s dull roar. The agents up front meet Alex’s eyes in the rearview, instantly on alert. “Those soldiers will always remember now what it felt like to challenge their commander. It causes… hesitation.”

“Forgive me if I don’t take strategy lessons from someone who got herself captured,” Alex replies with a snort. She pulls her sidearm from its holster for emphasis. “And breaking people’s spirits doesn’t make them better fighters,” she can’t help but argue. “It just builds mindless drones.”

“They make for good armies.” Astra dismisses the argument like they’re making small talk about the weather. “You’ll see that soon enough.”

“You talk a good game, General,” Alex watches the docks come into view. “But I saw you with Kara. I know you still care about her. I think when it comes to the crunch, you’re not doing anything that takes her away from you again.”

“You give me too much credit.” Astra looks away as she says it, the hint of a tremble in her voice. Alex has the distinct impression this isn’t the first time she’s said those words. She wonders idly about a dying planet and a sister on the opposing side of a distant war. They’re coming to a halt for the exchange, and Alex slips effortlessly into full operational awareness. 

When Kara calls out the ambush, Alex feels her stomach sink. Part of the training is knowing that you could die in service at any time, but knowing it doesn’t make the prospect any less horrifying. Alex readies her weapon and blurts out her demand to Hank, refusing to surrender her life or the Earth this easily. 

It’s Astra who surprises them all. Astra who takes the credit she’s been given and spares them, even if only this once. While she talks directly to Kara the whole time, Alex is aware of how Astra’s gaze flickers to her in the moment before she takes off. Someone less used to Kryptonians might have missed it. 

***

“Your home is a mess,” Astra announces, scaring Alex straight into a crouched position, weapon drawn. 

“If you’re here to kill me, you could have tidied while you waited.”

“I’m here to discuss a more lasting truce,” Astra announces, hovering just above the coffee table. “I would have sought out my niece, but she has little authority with your people.”

“That’s not true.” Alex approaches, turning on the nearest lamp.

“You should read your periodicals.” Astra lowers herself to the floor then, kicking aside some discarded shirts. “Your country doesn’t particularly care for outsiders.”

“There’s a lot more to us than what’s in the headlines,” Alex defends, and hardly for the first time. “And just because someone runs for President doesn’t mean they should be given any power.”

“If you’re not going to take a shot, you can lower that gun.”

“I’m fighting Kryptonian speed, I’ll take all the readiness I can get.” Alex considers for a moment. “If you really want a truce, why not my boss?”

“Because coming near your bunkers means missiles being fired at me.” Astra doesn’t have to come up with a second reason. The DEFCON level has been elevated since Hank was taken and nobody has found a compelling reason to lower them, even after his return. “You’re also the one who resorted to diplomacy over torture.”

“The soft touch, then?”

“The reasonable one. If I do something for you, will you take it as a gesture of my intent?” Astra asks, and she’s almost smiling.

“As long as it doesn’t break any laws or hurt anyone, sure.”

There’s a few seconds of whirlwind activity and Alex is stunned - even despite the years with Kara - to see her studio apartment tidied beyond recognition. It still needs to be cleaned, sure, but the clothes are neatly folded and papers are stacked. 

“Now we can negotiate like civilized beings.” Astra celebrates her handiwork by taking a seat in the newly-cleared recliner, nodding for Alex to take the couch. Like this isn’t Alex’s own apartment. Like Astra is somehow in charge. 

“I don’t negotiate on an empty stomach,” Alex decides, refusing to take a seat. She pulls a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue from the shelf then roots around in the kitchen cupboard for a clean glass. She keeps her other hand and its weapon trained in Astra’s direction the whole time. “Is there any point offering? Kara always says it has no effect on her.”

“It affects us,” Astra corrects. “But our metabolism clears it so quickly that it cannot last.”

“No hangovers, huh?” Alex sighs. “Yet another way in which you people are not fair. I’ll pour you some, if you like the taste.”

Astra shrugs. 

When she accepts the glass, Alex could swear she sees a slight shaking in Astra’s fingers. She recalls the comment about begging for water, and wishes she’d offered that instead. 

“Negotiating begins with ground rules,” Alex instructs, standing by the window. Her apartment balcony is tiny, but handy now that Kara zips around the city all night. Shielded from the street, it’s a safe place to land, and that’s exactly what Kara will do if Alex says her name with the right amount of urgency. She has contingency here, and Astra is being decidedly non-scary for an alien intent on ruling the earth. “First sign of violence, Kara and the entire DEO will be on you.”

“As you would imagine, the same goes for my forces.”

“Which means they know you’re here.”

“A select team does, yes.”

“What about your husband?” Alex is intrigued by the relationship. Not a word of affection or love has ever been expressed, even during the exchange. Military professionalism or the sign of a marriage based on something far from love? From Kara’s tales and the little Alex has seen of Alura’s digital memories, romance was fairly common on Krypton. 

“He’s part of the reason I have to act,” Astra confides, leaning forward with her hands gripping her knees. “I’m convinced he means to unseat me and lead a faster, bloodier takeover. He certainly won’t spare Kara, and ever since… well.”

“Killing people is different in the abstract,” Alex points out. “It’s harder when you read them bedtime stories, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how it ever got this far.” Astra stands then, approaching Alex with the caution usually reserved for hungry tigers. “All I ever wanted was to keep people alive. In the end I’ve saved no one, and so much blood is on my hands.”

“Well, we’re pretty familiar with killing in the name of preserving life,” Alex concedes. “It doesn’t make much sense here on Earth, either.”

“I’m tired.” Astra closes her eyes, tilting her head back in the warm shadows cast by the lamp. It’s more plea than statement. “My sister tried so hard to bring me back from this. I was so determined not to need her. Now I’d give anything to be able to ask her advice. My world didn’t deserve only the second-best In-Ze sister to survive.”

“I know how that goes,” Alex sympathizes without realizing she’s going to do it. “But one bout of girl talk changes nothing. If you’re serious, you’ll come to the DEO at one tomorrow. You can bring two guards as far as the compound entrance, but after that you’re on your own. I’ll guarantee your safety as long as you remain non-hostile.”

“I should trust you?”

“I let you stay in my home without shooting you,” Alex reminds her. It doesn’t matter that these are standard bullets that will bounce right off, that she never brings the Kryptonite-laced ones home with her because they hurt Kara just by being nearby. Besides, if Kara ever became the threat General Lane is convinced she already is, Alex already knows she could never be the one to bring her sister down.

“Very well.” Astra nods once, before blasting off through the window and into the night sky. 

***

“That was an ambush!” Astra is seething, and Alex is glad she has the dart gun to hand. “I come to you in good faith and your fat-headed orange man tries to detain me?”

“He didn’t detain you,” Alex argues her case. “He was acting without authorization, and we contained the situation. Once he’s clear of the base, we can resume talks.”

“I won’t do it,” Astra snarls. “I won’t negotiate with men who would do that. He claimed to have honor, but he has none.”

“Then take it on _my_ honor!” Alex spits. “God, you’re an intergalactic terrorist, did it ever occur to you that people won’t bend to your will at the first sign of reason? You can’t be that naïve.”

“Temper,” Astra seems genuinely taken aback. “That will cost you some day.”

“It’s gonna cost you if you don’t take a seat in the big green playpen,” Alex tells her. “Will you please give us an hour to calm this down? You talked about showing intent.”

“Do you memorize everything I say to you, Agent Danvers?”

“Only when it might save my planet, General.”

“Send my niece in, if she’ll talk to me,” Astra asks, striding into the containment cell and sitting patiently, waiting for Alex to activate the kryptonite shield around her. “I’ll give you one hour.”

***

Alex is fading fast.

She heard Hank directing the last of their troops into a pincer attack, and she’s pretty sure the latest round of explosions means they’ve won; earth has finally won against the Fort Rozz aliens. It would be much sweeter if she could actually survive the victory, but she learned a long time ago that having everything is a pipe dream. Kara will come work for the DEO full-time maybe, and Hank will look after her like Alex made him promise.

Dying for the cause would be so much cooler if it didn’t hurt like a bitch. She must have lost at least a pint from this neck wound. Shouldn’t shock be setting in? Oh thank God, there’s Kara. Alex has been trying so hard not to hope, not to expect special treatment when there are bodies all over the ground, but strong arms are cradling her now. There’s a split-second blast of light and her neck stings, but the blood sliding over her fingers stops at last. 

“Cauterized,” Alex says the word out loud. It’s the only one that comes to mind as the strong arms lift her into the air and she’s flying. She’s safe, she’s miles above the city, and it’s finally okay to give in. She’s never been more scared, and though it doesn’t feel like there’s a drop of water left in her body, a few scalding tears spill anyway.

They land at the DEO base, not Kara’s apartment, and that’s probably better. Alex tries to wriggle free as soon as they hit the ground, prove that she can walk back in a hero. Her legs give way the moment her feet touch land, but those strong arms catch her. Half-walking, half-dragged, Alex has never been happier to see the metal furniture and fluorescent lights of a med bay.

She just doesn’t understand why the duty doctor has pulled a goddamned assault rifle on her.

“Sorry about the blood, doc,” Alex manages to groan. “But this one’s on our side. Tell him, Kara.”

“I’ll leave her in your hands,” Astra says. “I have risked enough to come here.”

“Astra!” Alex calls out to her, but without Astra’s grip she’s slumping towards the table. The whoosh of motion says her rescuer is already gone.

“Director Henshaw will be back momentarily,” the doctor tells her, dropping his weapon and motioning for someone to help get Alex safely onto the treatment table. “Congratulations, Agent Danvers. You kicked some alien ass.”

“Sorry,” Alex mumbles. She isn’t sure why. There’s a jab in the top of her arm, and it all fades away.

***

“Kara’s asking for immunity,” Alex says, unsurprised this time to find someone waiting in her apartment. “For you.” She scratches at the gauze dressing on her neck. It’s almost completely healed now, but she’s gotten used to people looking away from it rather than staring at the wound. 

“I didn’t ask her for that.”

“You’re the only one left. What’s the point in making an example of you?” Alex sighs. “That’s what I told my boss when he asked me about it, anyway.”

“You feel indebted. All I did was remove you from the theater of operations. And tonight I came to check on your recovery, not barter for my freedom.” Astra is the one to turn on the light this time. She looks wrecked, is Alex’s first impression. Leading her troops into battle after betraying them to the enemy has clearly taken a toll.

“Why didn’t you just hide out with us?” Alex demands of her then. “I would have protected you. We had a deal.”

“They wouldn’t have fought without their general,” Astra explains. “And I had a duty to see it through. I assumed I would die in the field.”

“I almost did,” Alex admits. To everyone else she’s been playing it off, acting like a little scratch can’t stop her. She doesn’t need Kara or Hank to know she’s been upping her painkiller dose each week just to be able to sleep. They definitely don’t need to know those pills are mostly washed down with a big mouthful of Scotch. “Thanks to you, I’m standing here.”

“You haven’t been sleeping.”

“Which means you’ve been spying.”

“I don’t have much else to do,” Astra admits. “If they make a deal…”

“Take it,” Alex orders. She crosses the living room to stand closer to Astra. She has one arm wrapped around her abdomen, suggesting a lingering rib injury. It must be bad if she hasn’t healed yet; they’re almost six days out. “Kara will find you a place in this world. She made one for herself.”

“She tells me you made it with her,” Astra accuses. “Why did you never tell me you were sisters?”

“Not by blood,” Alex answers. “I didn’t think it would count for much in the face of her having one last blood relative left alive. I suppose I always thought if she found a way to get Krypton back, she wouldn’t need us anymore.”

“Krypton is never coming back.” Astra winces as she says it, leaning against the wall with one palm flat. “If I could rest here tonight, perhaps-”

“Fine,” Alex grunts. “But with those ribs you’re sleeping in the bed. How come you haven’t healed?”

“Kryptonite bonded with the bone,” Astra confesses. “I haven’t been able to get it all.”

“Then our doctors in the morning,” Alex adds, and though she’s standing at ease there’s no mistaking that she means it. “Come on, general. If I’m giving up my bed, you might as well get the most out of it.”

They walk into the bedroom area side-by-side. Alex is relieved that it’s actually tidy for once, save for a couple of towels left on the floor from this morning. The sheets are freshly changed, too, a way of diverting Kara’s incessant need to help. 

“Throw me a pillow for the couch,” Alex requests. “Anything you need is fine, but ask me if you don’t understand it. I’m done with having to replace things because a Kryptonian broke them out of curiosity.”

“I shouldn’t take your bed.” Astra begins to retreat. “You’re still recovering.”

“Oh for God’s…” Alex is thin on patience, and even less equipped on the painkiller and stiff drink front. “Do you know what I mean by bunking down?”

“You mean sharing whatever space you can find for a bed?”

“Yeah, that.”

Astra shrugs.

“Pick a side, Astra. You’ve got until I brush my teeth to choose. And if you snore, I’ll rescind your immunity.”

“You’re unorthodox for a military woman,” is all Astra says. By the time Alex retreats to the bathroom, Astra is already pulling back the comforter on the left side. 

***

“I haven’t shared a bed in so long,” Astra whispers once Alex has punched her pillow and settled, lamp firmly clicked off. 

“What about your husband?” Alex has been dying to ask. It’s probably not that sensitive now that the guy is dead. Kara thinks she might need therapy after what she did to him.

“Non and I… it wasn’t that kind of marriage,” Astra confesses. “Do you think he would still have plotted against me if it was?” The question seems genuine, and it’s startling in the intimacy of the semi-darkness.

“I think it might have been even more likely,” Alex goes for the cheap joke. Besides her parents, she can’t think of a single successful marriage to draw on. Even their happiness was cut tragically short. “Love and sex are the surest way to screw things up.”

“Cynical,” Astra declares. “If you leave this job, do you think you’ll marry then?”

“Who would I marry?” Alex asks. “I’m not exactly interviewing for the position.”

“Pity,” is all Astra says in response, before falling instantly and deeply asleep.

***

“I won’t kill you in your sleep,” Astra says, huffily. It’s the third time Alex has woken, this time after little more than half an hour or so of rest.

“That’s not it,” Alex grunts into her pillow. “Dreams.” Every time she falls deep enough for the dreams to start, it’s a race against her own panic as to when she’ll wake again. 

“It’s the screaming I can’t stand,” Astra sighs, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She’s still wearing one of those jumpsuits; they’re the only thing Alex has ever seen her in. She should have offered a t-shirt, maybe. “I can watch and watch in my head, but the sounds sending me scrambling for consciousness.”

“Yeah.” Alex doesn’t know whether that’s acknowledgment or agreement. She doesn’t want to find out. “Astra, why are you really here?”

“It’s the only place I wanted to be.”

Alex spends too long searching for a response, only for sleep to claim her again.

***

“Alex?” Kara sounds 13 again as they watch another of the medical staff do something unfortunate with a bag of liquid and tweezers to Astra’s injury. “How come everytime I see my aunt lately, she’s with you?”

“Must be the alien magnet in my ass,” Alex deflects. “You people can’t get enough of my company.”

“You’d tell me if… I don’t even know what I’m asking,” Kara dissolves into giggles. It’s the first time either of them has laughed in days. 

Alex leans into it, reconnecting at long last. They’ve buried their dead. She sat at Hank’s side as they made the notification visits. She watched too many wives and fathers, mothers and husbands, even kids too young to know better, dissolve in the face of bad news. She saw them stare at her bandage and felt them think ‘how did you get off so lightly?’

“There’s nothing to tell,” Alex assures her as Astra looks away from the doctor’s hands to seek them out. It’s Alex she fixes her gaze on, and there’s no good explanation to give Kara about that.

***

“Come over,” Kara pleads, and Alex pretends to take her time about doing exactly that. “I’m going to kill her if you don’t come referee.” The great Kryptonian roommate compromise that formed part of Astra’s pardon is only a few days old, and Alex has to admit she expected Kara to last longer before asking for help.

Kara is waiting at the door, pushing past Alex and muttering something about Cat needing her; that’s been happening way more often lately. Alex can see she’s been played, that she’s been roped into alien-sitting, but she can’t find it in her to mind.

“I think my niece is frustrated with me,” Astra says from the corner, where she’s tearing up a canvas, using a perfectly innocent paintbrush like a close-quarters blade. “Apparently I ask too many questions.”

“About me?”

“Hence the summoning,” Astra confirms. “That and she does not wish me to ask more about this leader of hers. She’s quite taken, the same face as when she was a child discovering a new favorite thing.”

“Oh I do not want to poke that hornet’s nest,” Alex shuts down the idea that seems so much less deniable here in Kara’s space. There’s a coat draped across the back of the sofa that Alex knows isn’t Kara’s and Cat was photographed in just last week. “I was going to get food, if you’re done stabbing that into a Picasso?”

“A Picasso?”

“Never mind,” Alex sighs. “Has Kara made you try Thai food yet?”

“I like… pizza,” Astra admits it as though thumbscrews are being applied. “Can we have that?”

“How did we get from annihilation to pizza?” Alex wants to know. She doesn’t wait for an answer, heading back to the apartment door and simply expecting Astra to follow. It isn’t even weird anymore when she does.

***

“Thank you,” Astra sounds happy for the first time since Alex has known her. It might be the fact that she’s on her third pizza of the night, enraptured by pepperoni. It might be because Alex said “crash here tonight” instead of taking her back to Kara’s once they’d collected the food. Astra’s been around them long enough that Alex didn’t even need to translate the offer.

“So,” Alex asks when she’s put some music on and opened a couple of beers. Astra isn’t impressed by the technology, but while they had music on Krypton, they didn’t have Beyoncé. She’s lost in a chorus when Alex interrupts, so she has to repeat the “so”. Astra’s attention then is instant, and intense as always.

“Yes?”

“What are you planning for the rest of your… rehabilitation?” Alex has been dying to ask. Astra puts down her slice of pizza, wipes her fingers with a napkin, and appears to consider the question quite seriously.

“Well,” she answers eventually. “This.”

She leans across the coffee table they’re using for dinner and kisses Alex swiftly and soundly on the mouth. 

“I… what?”

“Do I read you wrong, Agent Danvers? I don’t think so.”

“I’m not saying you’re wrong!” Alex blurts, backing away from the table and scrambling to her feet. “But I wasn’t… did I? Wait, are we related? I don’t even know how you know…”

Astra stands then, too. She advances on Alex, and somehow it isn’t threatening at all despite their history. Alex wills each step to be quicker, for Astra to be closer. Every idle thought she’s suppressed these past weeks, every inexplicable decision that turns out to be so explicable, is burst open when Astra kisses her a second time. Alex takes her by the shoulders and kisses back like her life depends on it.

“Also,” Astra adds when the kiss finally ends, when lips are tingling. “I thought I would investigate work with an environmental organization. That’s what you call it here, right?”

“Right,” Alex answers in a laugh. Trust the general to make sure to finish answering the question. “Kara’s going to kill us, isn’t she?”

“We don’t have to tell her yet,” Astra answers. “At least not until I discover whether you fuck as well as you fight, Alex.”

It’s the lazy pronouncing of her name that tips Alex the rest of the way over the edge. She’s reaching for Astra, clawing at her regular clothes that came via Kara. The cornflower blue blouse, the dark jeans, they’re hardly an obstacle at all.

“Trust me,” she gasps as Astra kisses her neck. “Fighting is definitely my second best skill.”

“Promises, promises” Astra mutters against her skin. “Can you keep them?”

“I can if you can,” Alex reminds her, the seriousness creeping back in for a moment. Astra responds by pulling Alex’s black polo shirt up and over her head.


End file.
